Entering the Darkest Part of the Forest

Introducing people of all ages to mythology... in pre-college educational curricula, youth orgs, the media, etc. Share your knowledge, stories, unit and lesson plans, techniques, and more.

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swbrooks
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Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Jul 19, 2006 7:43 am
Location: Tarzana, CA

Post by swbrooks »

My Mythological mind was awakened without my conscious effort, although I do believe I had an unconscious urge to walk into the part of the forest in which I would get lost, and then have to find my own way. Up to the age of 25, I walked the earth as a sleepwalker, knowing that something very important was missing, but having no idea what this important "thing" was. Among the circumstances that clouded my vision were some emotional issues related to my parents having divorced, remarried, and divorced again during my adolescence and puberty. I was unhappily employed as a computer technician, and decided that I would go back to school as a college freshman with an undeclared major. About a month before school began - in August of that year, I went on a mountain hiking/camping trip with some friends, and my life has never been the same since. Somehow this trip was the initiation to the mystical realm, like the scene in Star Wars where Luke is confronted by all the strange creatures at the beginning of his journey. The other members of the group were very intelligent, and often spoke of things that were quite literally mystifying to me, since I was not very well read at the time, and as I mentioned before, sleepwalking. On August 12, 1988, I partook of a natural herb that I will not mention the name of. I am not advocating this sort of behavior, particularly because I did not do it because I wanted to - I did it through my own projection of peer pressure... Suffice to say that it kept me up all night, and the ensuing lack of sleep led to some very interesting changes in my perception of the world. This perception was very disturbing at the time - which led to more loss of sleep. The next evening - August 13, 1988, I went to a party, and yes - gave in to peer pressure again. From that day on - for months afterward (and long after any effects wore off), I began to see the world as metaphor... It started when it occured to me that I should question my understanding of what people were trying to communicate. I wondered: "what are these people saying subconsciously that they are unaware of in their conscious discussion?" I began hearing conversations in "subconscious terms", "intepreting" what people said almost as if there were an underlying code - and it was clear that there was a lot being said. Unfortunately, at first I believed it was "all about me" - a paranoid fantasy. After a while, I began to feel that everybody knew everything about me - and spoke to each other about it in this "code". In my darkest moments, I toyed with the idea that I had somehow died and gone to a hell where everyone knew everything about me, but I knew nothing about them... In reality, people were not consciously or even unconsciously talking about me, even though I thought they were at the time. But the interesting thing is, one day I realized that the people were only vessels, and that what they were saying was not coming from them, but through them. Here's what I mean: My paranoia at first made me think that other people either consciously or unconsciously knew things about me that they could never have known... I soon realized, however, that this apparent knowledge they had was a manifestation of the fact that all things (including people) are interconnected. They actually had no independent knowledge of my life... What I was seeing was a REFLECTION of myself in the external world... This served to show me that there is a connection between the internal and external, and I then realized that I am part of something much larger than myself or the people I experienced... It was not "all about me" - In actuality, I was all about it! Suddenly everything fell into place - Einstein's theory of relativity saying that all mass is energy... This means that all things are one thing - energy! What about the old Buddhist idea of "being one with everything"? It all made sense. But, I can tell you from experience - this was only the beginning of awareness....

I now see this whole event as a death to my animal self, and a birth to my spiritual self, putting me on my path of awareness. I have since become a Magne Cum Laude graduate as a Music major, and went on to attain a Master's Degree in Music. Joseph Campbell elucidates what happenned to me in a way that makes me forever thankful that he graced this place, whatever it may be...

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: swbrooks on 2007-01-09 01:45 ]</font>

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