My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
- (Dave Barry)
some humor to lighten the place up a little
Moderators: Clemsy, Martin_Weyers, Cindy B.
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Mr. Rotary Dial, you suffer from low self esteem. It's common among losers.
Last edited by CarmelaBear on Mon Nov 11, 2013 1:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Once in a while a door opens, and let's in the future. --- Graham Greene
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You have reached the JCF Support Hotline.
If you read Campbell compulsively, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are now in the midst of reading the Tibetan Book of the Dead and it gives you the heeby jeebies....we know who you are and we have been watching you. Please stay on the line while we trace your call.
If Power of Myth made it clear to you that your marriage is an ordeal of co-dependency, you will now ask your spouse to please press 3 for you.
If you identify with the entire pantheon of Greco-Roman gods, press 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7.
If you share CarmelaBear' s delusions about achieving the American dream, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the Roswell Museum of Alien Landings.
If you are an Aaron Burr Dualist, it does not matter what number you press, no one will answer.
If you took Clemsy' s dream class, and you discovered you are lysdexic, dial 969696969696.
If you feel a bit nervous about calling, fidget with the hashkey and Cindy B. will answer.
If, in the course of your hero journey, you learned to live in the present and developed Heroic Amnesia, please leave your name, address, phone number, date of birth and your mother's maiden name after the beep.
If you do not feel particularly heroic today for lack of self esteem, please hang up now, because no one wants to talk to you.
If you are undecided about what bliss path to follow, and reading James N. and Nandu and Romansh and Andreas and other Associates is just not helping, then either press 1 or 0, or perhaps you might wait for the beep, or don't wait for the beep. You have free will.
If reading Joe C. and Ron C. has left you with short term memory loss, then press 5. If you forget, press 5. If you forget again, press 5. Forgot? Press 5.
If you think you may be a little schizophrenic since last you read The Masks of God, listen carefully and a small, still voice will whisper special instructions inside your head.
~
If you read Campbell compulsively, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are now in the midst of reading the Tibetan Book of the Dead and it gives you the heeby jeebies....we know who you are and we have been watching you. Please stay on the line while we trace your call.
If Power of Myth made it clear to you that your marriage is an ordeal of co-dependency, you will now ask your spouse to please press 3 for you.
If you identify with the entire pantheon of Greco-Roman gods, press 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7.
If you share CarmelaBear' s delusions about achieving the American dream, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the Roswell Museum of Alien Landings.
If you are an Aaron Burr Dualist, it does not matter what number you press, no one will answer.
If you took Clemsy' s dream class, and you discovered you are lysdexic, dial 969696969696.
If you feel a bit nervous about calling, fidget with the hashkey and Cindy B. will answer.
If, in the course of your hero journey, you learned to live in the present and developed Heroic Amnesia, please leave your name, address, phone number, date of birth and your mother's maiden name after the beep.
If you do not feel particularly heroic today for lack of self esteem, please hang up now, because no one wants to talk to you.
If you are undecided about what bliss path to follow, and reading James N. and Nandu and Romansh and Andreas and other Associates is just not helping, then either press 1 or 0, or perhaps you might wait for the beep, or don't wait for the beep. You have free will.
If reading Joe C. and Ron C. has left you with short term memory loss, then press 5. If you forget, press 5. If you forget again, press 5. Forgot? Press 5.
If you think you may be a little schizophrenic since last you read The Masks of God, listen carefully and a small, still voice will whisper special instructions inside your head.
~
Last edited by CarmelaBear on Mon Nov 11, 2013 4:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Once in a while a door opens, and let's in the future. --- Graham Greene
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Caveat
Seriously, if anyone actually does need support, calling our hotline is NOT ever a good idea.
The kid who created the mythical hotline is a really mean girl. Very middle school, behind the barn kinda stuff. We should fire her at once.
Just saying.
~
Seriously, if anyone actually does need support, calling our hotline is NOT ever a good idea.
The kid who created the mythical hotline is a really mean girl. Very middle school, behind the barn kinda stuff. We should fire her at once.
Just saying.
~
Once in a while a door opens, and let's in the future. --- Graham Greene
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- Location: The Land of Enchantment
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Nice going Carmela.
If you're at work; use a desktop.
If you're sitting down; use a laptop.
If you can't catch a mouse; use a tablet.
If you're lost on land; use a track phone.
If you're lost at sea; use a landline.
If you are biologically inclined; use a cell phone.
If you can't figure it out; use a smart phone.
And if you simply must calculate; then compute.
Cheers
If you're at work; use a desktop.
If you're sitting down; use a laptop.
If you can't catch a mouse; use a tablet.
If you're lost on land; use a track phone.
If you're lost at sea; use a landline.
If you are biologically inclined; use a cell phone.
If you can't figure it out; use a smart phone.
And if you simply must calculate; then compute.
Cheers
What do I know? - Michael de Montaigne
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Although July is a long way off this press release about a " Monty Python " reunion was just too special not to post. ( And yes they are going to film it so look for something to purchase for viewing later on. )
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-25031520
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-25031520
What do I know? - Michael de Montaigne
Seasonal Greetings from Oxford University
Click HERE
BTW you could have watched two lovely young ladies in revealing Santa jackets, and not much else, bouncing their very generous assets to the sound of Jingle Bells ...
... but ... sadly, the Dastardly Clemsy does not take a rest from his moderating duties during the 12 Days of Christmas ... so Oxford gets the vote instead.
Click HERE
BTW you could have watched two lovely young ladies in revealing Santa jackets, and not much else, bouncing their very generous assets to the sound of Jingle Bells ...
... but ... sadly, the Dastardly Clemsy does not take a rest from his moderating duties during the 12 Days of Christmas ... so Oxford gets the vote instead.
Greetings from over the Silver Sea
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- Joined: Wed Nov 27, 2002 3:51 pm
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