Unique Challenges; Unique Blessings

Share thoughts and ideas regarding what can be done to meet contemporary humanity's need for rites of initiation and passage.

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noman
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Unique Challenges; Unique Blessings

Post by noman »

We all have special challenges. Sometimes it’s something about our immediate family, our biography, our culture - or sometimes it's a physical disposition we cannot change, but have to learn to live with and work around somehow. For most people, there’s a little voice in us that asks ‘why me Lord?’ - why do I have to be part of such a freakish minority?

But then consider Brittany and Abigail Hensel, of New Germany, Minnesota. I first heard about them in 1996 in this magazine story:

Image

five minute video of Abigail and Brittany

They are conjoined twins, born in 1990, one of the rare instances of conjoined twins that have survived conjoined into adulthood. They each control one half of their bodies. They each have a heart, but share a liver. They each have a stomach, but their intestines fuse. They had no trouble learning how to ride a bike, type, and drive a car. They refer to themselves as ‘I’ sometimes but when they want to distinguish themselves they will use the third person, ‘Brittany believes this.’ or ‘Abigail doesn’t like that.’

Their wonderful parents have sheltered them as best they can, with the help of their community, by minimizing media exposure and researchers. But now the two are off to college, halfway into the big bad world. The peculiar challenges faced by these two confound any conventional advice; there’s no ‘thread of the hero’s-path’ to follow. And yet, they will use the same faculties we all use to deal with their condition.

I love what their mother said in the film posted above. A reporter told her “You owe the world a better explanation.” She said, ‘I don’t owe the world nothin' – and neither - do Abigail and Brittany.’

So my question is this: should their condition be seen as a curse or blessing? And what does the answer to that question say about the human condition in general, the common desire to be ‘normal’, or normally accepted. And what does it say about the little voice in us all that asks 'why me Lord?'.

- NoMan
Last edited by noman on Wed Jul 29, 2009 5:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

Cindy B.
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Re: Unique Challenges; Unique Blessings

Post by Cindy B. »

noman wrote: I love what their mother said in the film posted above. A reporter told her “You owe the world a better explanation.” She said, ‘I don’t owe the world a thing – and neither - do they.’
:D
I like this woman very much, the perfect mother for these girls.

Cindy
If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s. --Jung

Evinnra
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Post by Evinnra »

It is definitely a Blessing as far as I recon. Although we all want to be 'normal' there is no such thing really. :roll:
'A fish popped out of the water only to be recaptured again. It is as I, a slave to all yet free of everything.'
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BiggieDe
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Post by BiggieDe »

You know, one just never knows what's around the bend in the road. We get attracted by some one's writing, and just like that, the fork in the road comes upon us. At the risk of being crass, I think I'll travel both? I must admit I'm a person who has always found it hard to accept differences immediately, right off the bat. It's a superficial curse, really. My roommate in college was always excited about the newest record or game or story and I learned a lot from him in that regard. I still have to continually work at acceptance, though. Now, in thinking about these little girls, I have to say, it seems to me to be all about a sense of the plural. NoMan writes:
So my question is this: should their condition be seen as a curse or blessing? And what does the answer to that question say about the human condition in general, the common desire to be ‘normal’, or normally accepted. And what does it say about the little voice in us all that asks 'why me Lord?'.
Their lives feel to me like they must be made up of major material inconveniences combined probably with constant tests of wills, most likely? Then again they're so used to one another? If you want "the human condition in general" NoMan, imagine the habitual compromising and understanding and compassion needed for them to cooperate? And, ALL emotions expressed as shared? Is that how it is? Just don't know? Who routinely allows themselves to contemplate such sharing? Normal thoughts never go there. It feels like the height of rudeness on my part to even speculate, really, because in important ways I can't truly share their shared experience. So, as far as my acceptance goes, it seems the way for me to calm my mind about it is to just think about TWO little girls, two beautiful young women, and let it go at that.

Marvelous, so absolutely marvelous, I'm reminded, how we ALL are.

noman
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Post by noman »

Cindy, Evinnra, and BiggieD,

Thoughtful people, like the ones I find here at these forums, will try to imagine what is would be like to be in another’s shoes. What would it be like to be a different race, class, or gender? What would it be like to be from the one third of the world's population that lives on two dollars a day? What would it be like to be over 100 years old? What would it be like to be confined to a wheel chair, or to suffer from schizophrenia and be living on the street?

These adorable twins that share one body have an irresistible pull on my imagination. How many people have ever grown up literally sharing their body with someone? Most young people dream of fame. The Hensel twins hate it – and try to live as normal a life as they can. Most people look to have a very close strong relationship with one other person. But for Abigail and Brittany, it is not a choice. They are literally stuck with each other. It’s almost like having half a free will.

But I say this from the perspective of a single brained Homo sapien. If we lived on a planet where everyone had two brains to a body we would see no loss in their condition. Society would be built around this norm. And we might pity the poor lonely bloke who was unfortunate enough to have been born with no intelligent partner with which to share his or her body. There is so much conformity pressure, to be like others, or to keep up with the Jones’. Normal is so very desirable. But if our wishes were granted, what a boring world it would be.

Unlike Evinnra, I believe there is such a thing as normal. But whether it is or should be desirable is a matter to reflect on now and then I think.

- NoMan

BiggieDe
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Post by BiggieDe »

Joseph Campbell says to "go North." Am I right about that? A life well-lived should never be just the acceptance of the teachings of the Tribe. Each of us has a responsibility to either change the beliefs of the Tribe into the "knowings" of ourselves, or find ourselves a set of new beliefs. At some point, though, each of us needs to test "normal" perspectives. And the realm of the abnormal exists to the "North" where the Tribe's normality doesn't apply or is inadequate.

I agree, Noman, many thoughtful people do imagine the lives of others. And, being thoughtful can produce personal characteristics like empathy and sympathy, I guess? I don't know? I see a bit of a difference in the level of awareness between imagining the life of others and an actual shared experience of that other's life. So, again, we have to stay humble, always.

I think where we're ultimately going here is to the irony inherent in Joseph Campbell's pairs-of-opposites approach to space-time occurrences, "same" and "different." I realize pairs of opposites is just the way it is. I only mean, imagining how "different" the lives of two conjoined girls "must" be, really only takes us "North" in the sense of their physical existence here on Earth. Together like that, I wager both girls are exactly the same as we with normal bodies are, in the spiritual experience of their lives. So, they are very much the same all the while they are very much different.

Now, imagine if each of us lived in the "North" country spiritually, all the time! Would the impact on our spiritual perspectives then become Tribal? My guess is mysteriously no, even though in that case I do believe our spiritual perspectives would probably get nailed to a cross, or two?
Last edited by BiggieDe on Wed Jul 29, 2009 12:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Neoplato
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Post by Neoplato »

Hey Biggie,
Now, imagine if each of us lived in the "North" country spiritually, all the time! Would the impact on our spiritual perspectives then become Tribal? My guess is mysteriously no, even though in that case I do believe our spiritual perspectives would probably get nailed to a cross, or two?
I’ve wondered about this too. There’s a certain amount of vigilance required to ensure that “groupthink” doesn’t set in. So when one of us assumes the role of :twisted: we shouldn’t get too offended, we should consider the opposing idea as an opportunity for “reasonable” debate. You know what they say…CYA. ( Challenge Your Assumptions). :D :wink:
Infinite moment, grants freedom of winter death, allows life to dawn.

BiggieDe
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Post by BiggieDe »

Hi Neo,

I'm into a subjectivity thing at the moment. I've been reading Deepak Chopra again and have all his references to the quantum sub-atomic level in my head. Yoi! It's all true, I suppose? It's just how extreme do you want to get. Like do you want to dance all night, or something? Anyway, here I sit in space and time trying to think about subjectivity actually warping objectivity, in the actual observing. So, OK, subject/object are always inextricably woven together. Big whoop! I'll bet you the Buddha thought that one day and noticed it gave him a headache. So, he patented the idea that thinking about reality caused him to suffer! That's funny, huh? :)

Matter causes the subjective experience.

or

Consciousness constantly creates the experience of the objective material world.

or

The subject and object are constantly co-creating each other. And we can't get out of that shared experience while in space/time.

Thank God for death!

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Post by jonsjourney »

How does one address the question of the mind/body experience with these wonderful girls? Are there two consciousnesses existing within one physical body? Does the will of one outweigh the will of the other, or is their continual consensus? Fascinating.

Their mother is obviously the right woman for the job! Good for her and them.

I wish that all society was as understanding and compassionate as those who have posted here. They will need thick skin as they go out into a world that judges and evaluates based on "norms" that are merely illusions.
"He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot." -Douglas Adams

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Post by Clemsy »

So my question is this: should their condition be seen as a curse or blessing?
You know, I think the answer to this question is yes.
Give me stories before I go mad! ~Andreas

BiggieDe
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Post by BiggieDe »

Ultimately JonsJourney, there is nothing "out there" that is separate from yourself.

Yes, Clemsy?

Cindy B.
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Post by Cindy B. »

noman wrote:...But for Abigail and Brittany, it is not a choice. They are literally stuck with each other. It’s almost like having half a free will...
Perhaps...Abigail and Brittany would see this differently if we could ask them, noman. Their experiences of each other and their lives together are of a nature that folks like us can never imagine and truly appreciate. True, they're "literally stuck with each other," but my guess is that the emotional bond that exists between these two is something that they'd choose to never give up if separation were an option. Their identities are intertwined given an intimacy foreign to us, and that this way of living might somehow be undesirable is a projection by us singletons who don't have to share a physical body and can't begin to understand what this is like. As for "free will," all of us have restrictions on our expression of free will and must learn to make compromises with others along the way, and for Abigail and Brittany, living a life of compromises is inherent in their relationship and, again, most likely not seen as something undesirable. So while it's true that Abigail and Brittany face physical hardships that we can't begin to imagine and lead us to wonder if we could ever cope with the same, they, I'm sure, don't see their lives as one of suffering or with the same limitations that we perceive. To "try to imagine what it would be like to be in another's shoes" as you said first requires learning to look at the world from within the other's perspective not our own. And while we can never come to a total understanding of another's life and experiences, of course, temporarily suspending our preconceived notions and personal point of view is the initial step one must take to begin to empathize with others and come to know them, to experience them as who they really are.

Cindy
Last edited by Cindy B. on Wed Jul 29, 2009 2:22 pm, edited 2 times in total.
If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s. --Jung

BiggieDe
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Post by BiggieDe »

And while we can never come to a total understanding of another's life and experiences, of course, temporarily suspending our preconceived notions and personal point of view is the initial step one must take to begin to empathize with others and come to know them, to experience them as who they really are.
Here, here Cindy! Thanks!

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Post by Clemsy »

Yes, Clemsy?
Precisely, Biggie.

Their condition is a blessing and a curse. Talk about the Fall from Innocence! Imagine, just imagine, that moment for them. As with any young child, existence is a magical land. Everything is as it should be. Then comes the moment when the magic starts to get dismantled. Mom and dad get divorced. Someone dies.

You realize being two people with one body is unique... in all the world. Slowly, one thought at a time, you realize how different that makes you. Scientifically, you are an accident that, if possible, would have been surgically corrected. Historically, you would have been allowed to die, or 'exposed' on some hillside for whatever predator finds you.

Or maybe you would have been worshiped as a goddess.

But never normal. Always apart, always different even if accepted.

Did the parents feel blessed when they found out about this condition, or did they suffer? We know how they felt. We know how the whole community felt: horrified.

Sounds like a curse.

But then to step up and deal with it, create your own normal, give yourself to who you are and the hand that you've been dealt and make it work. That's greatness. The girls' parents and community were given an opportunity to show their worth and, by all accounts, are worthy of admiration. They've given these girls the foundation to live what will certainly be an unusual life.

Sounds like a blessing.

As a special educator with 20 years experience, I've come to believe that those with special needs present both themselves and those around them with the opportunity to demonstrate the greatest of human qualities. Believe me, I've seen both the light and the dark side in this regard and far too often the latter, and I'm talking pitch black midnight darkness.

It's why Helen Keller is a household name.

The point here is that there is no choice between curse and blessing. It's both. It's both for all of us to one degree or another, no?
There but for the grace of God go I.
Most encouraging thought in the human mind.
Give me stories before I go mad! ~Andreas

noman
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Post by noman »

"Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them".

- Shakespeare, Twelfth Night, Act II, Scene V
I would say that Abigail and Brittany definitely qualify for condition one and three of Shakespeare’s paths to greatness, known throughout the world just for being who they are.

It’s true we all have restraints on our free will. But the Hensel twins have had to consult one another for every single move they’ve made from the time they were old enough to make choices. I’m not saying it’s a terrible thing. But it does take the idea of being close to someone to a level scarcely ever known. It could even be seen as enviable were it not for the one in a billion odds. Would that their condition weren’t so rare, they could meet a nice pair of conjoined young men.

At nineteen, they are at the age where they must mutually decide what course of life they want. It may be quiet and cloistered. Or they could seek more exposure if they want it – if they are lured by the wealth they could acquire from their natural born fame. Though it may not be worth having to answer the same questions a thousand times.

40 second video of Hensel twins at age eleven

I’m reading about human consciousness and how in some theories different parts of the brain compete and compromise, particularly the left and right hemispheres. From Ramachandran’s Phantoms of the Brain I learned how when a limb is lost, the brain has a way of taking over the sensation of the missing limb by an adjacent part of the neocortex that is receptive to a different area of the body. No doubt the Hensel twins have developed extremely unique brains. I wonder if anything could be learned about the brain, mind, and body by studying them with non invasive research such as fMRI.

I’m also learning about autistic savants, whose unique abilities, usually in math, music, or visual arts, call into question just where to draw a line between a curse and a blessing. I’m inclined to agree with Clemsy. It is more like – a blurssing. :?

- NoMan

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