Reflections on Death, Mourning, and Meaning

Share thoughts and ideas regarding what can be done to meet contemporary humanity's need for rites of initiation and passage.

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CarmelaBear
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Post by CarmelaBear »

Once in a while a door opens, and let's in the future. --- Graham Greene

JamesN.
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Post by JamesN. »

Thanks Carmela; there are some really great things in this article that I think go along with a lot of Joseph Campbell's work. As a matter of fact you could actually change the title to: " 5 things to think about how one lives their life ( before ) they die! "; which I'm assuming is one of the points of the piece.

Here is the list:
Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."
A really nice article. Thanks for sharing it. 8)
What do I know? - Michael de Montaigne

CarmelaBear
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Post by CarmelaBear »

Thank you, James.

~
Once in a while a door opens, and let's in the future. --- Graham Greene

JamesN.
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Post by JamesN. »

I came across this article this morning and I think it identifies a central issue which Joseph Campbell's work addresses that is to me one of the most important of our time; namely the loss of " hope and meaning " in the living of life. I think it would go without saying that any given location or circumstance this horrific act of suicide would take place would vary across a wide spectrum but in the end I think the below statement would be the identifiable core issue for most.

http://news.yahoo.com/sleepy-guyana-wre ... 44669.html
"I don't buy into the argument necessarily that it's an ethnic thing, that Indo Guyanese are more susceptible to suicide," she said. "There has been a lot of suicide among mixed people as well.
I honestly believe it's the hopelessness.
"
Joseph Campbell's deep understanding of Mythology and the importance of Carl Jung's ideas and their connection to many other wide-ranging spiritual and philosophical themes as well as his important insight's into the mental processes of the human mind offer a profound catalyst for understanding and harmonizing some of this agonizied suffering of the human condition. But as has been often discovered by people in attempting to solve these kinds of issues the challenges faced are not so easy to discern and overcome. As he said: " the world is a mess "; and you are not going to change that reality; but what you can do is teach is how to live within a difficult condition was I think part of his point; and understood as being applied within a more reasonable individual sensibility to me is where a more realistic approach of what Jung and Campbell's ideas are concerned with and come into play.

The treatment of mental health and the spotlight that has been focused on Robin William's recent suicide is only a symptom of a much larger condition that has plagued humanity since it's beginnings; but it is the insights offered within much of their work that offer I think the greatest potential of insight for treatment of some it's causes and getting at the roots that generate so much of this horrific suffering. " When people find out what is ticking inside them they get straightened out " was one of Joseph's quotes. And although a one-size-fits-all approach would certainly be ridiculous to assume in this case; I think it is this understanding that way a society sees itself is going to play a larger role in how human interconnection is interpreted and more to the point of what he meant.

Because of the rise of more sophisticated forms technology in all areas of human life such as the computer, the Internet, the Human Genome and Bio-technology the world is now evolving to a more technically advanced stage of " interconnectedness ". The role of human behavior is going to play a critical part not only because of the increasing requests of demand on it's ability to adapt to this new ever-changing environment; but because of the emotional resources that will be called upon to meet it's criteria. And it is because of this I think that the human community is going to be forced to come to grips with the question: " How are the demands of this newly evolving relationship between the mental, social, and the technical aspects of human society going to impact and define what it means to be a human being? "

It should also be noted that any consideration given the term " normal " in this case may be somewhat misleading concerning mental coping capabilities and relative to the human capacity to handle crisis; and that perception is dependent upon any individual's ability to implement coping skills subject to how they perceive themselves within the given reality they may find themselves in and relative to the role their feelings of hope play within their will to persevere. And given the wide range of the possibility of suicide that may present itself I think the quote below would apply here just as accurately as in the previous post. ( And I also think it is within this realm that the truest depth and revelation of insight concerning Campbell and Jung's work may be found in illuminating the ability for human beings to discover within a wasteland a new sense of meaning and purpose thereby reintroducing hope and redefining their ability to endure. )
As to the larger picture of how one can approach the living of life and how to face death I think Joseph states this really well here:

( From " Pathways to Bliss "; page 25. ):

For example, when you face great calamity, what is it that supports you and carries you through? Do you have something that supports you and carries you through, or does that which you thought was going to support you fail? That is the underlying myth by which you live.
What do I know? - Michael de Montaigne

CarmelaBear
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Post by CarmelaBear »

I was taking in an old episode of the PBS series, "George Gently", and it included a funeral scene with a reading of the Roger McGough poem called, "Let Me Die a Youngman's Death".

Here it is on YouTube, starting with a picture of the poet:

https://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=IKBFrAT5mSM

Roger McGough on Wiki:

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roger_McGough

~
Once in a while a door opens, and let's in the future. --- Graham Greene

Roncooper
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Post by Roncooper »

What a great poem. It is interesting that for our own death, we wish to be killed by a jealous lover when we are 90. But for the ones we love, the thought of death is difficult to even think about. There is no room for comedy when it comes to our loved ones.

Interesting.

CarmelaBear
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Post by CarmelaBear »

For some, emotional attachments are so many and so deep that the thought of a life ending can be overwhelming and cumulative. The best myths are those that help us cope and benefit from the experience of loss.

Death can propel us forward if we allow the process of heartbreak and healing to teach us important lessons.

For some, the drama of a real life event turns the event into something absolutely surreal and mind-boggling. When we emerge from such an experience, we are transformed, for good or ill.
Once in a while a door opens, and let's in the future. --- Graham Greene

JamesN.
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Post by JamesN. »

I tried to post this clip on the " Changing the mindset of how we view human interconnection " thread and it would not register so I'm moving it here. This is a truly moving and poignant expression of compassion and interconnection.

http://www.onegreenplanet.org/news/lone ... irst-time/

:idea:
What do I know? - Michael de Montaigne

CarmelaBear
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Post by CarmelaBear »

I miss being here. The platform issues are a pain in the neck.

Just saying.
Once in a while a door opens, and let's in the future. --- Graham Greene

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